Are you tired of trying to talk to your spouse and not having him listen to you? It’s not an uncommon situation but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do anything about it. Couples can greatly improve their level of satisfaction in their relationship simply by working on the communication they have between them. By taking steps to enhance communication between you and your spouse, you could finally feel like your spouse is listening and caring about you when you talk.
- Communication Enhancer 1~ Actively Listen : Most people don’t actively listen to their spouse. They always want to be listened to but they want to listen in return don’t. When your spouse comes to you with something that he wants to talk about, put down whatever you are doing and be all ears for him. Making a conscious attempt to only listen, will show him that you are truly interested in him and what he has to say, which will in turn teach him how to listen to you.
- Communication Enhancer 2 ~ Provide Feedback Only When Asked : Are you quick to give your spouse a solution to whatever problem he is having? Well, sometimes people just want to vent and get it all out. They aren’t looking for any way to solve the issue, just simply release the tension. Speak to your spouse about how you’ve noticed that you and he have both been doing this lately and that you’d like to try to not do it as much anymore. Remind him that you are always available to give suggestions on what he can do but you also understand that you might have been pushing your ideas on him. Interject that you know this because sometimes you don’t want to solve a problem but just want to vent as well.
- Communication Enhancer 3 ~ Say When You Aren’t Listening : If you can’t listen because something or someone is distracting you, don’t be afraid to say something. This will show your spouse that you really do want to listen but you just can’t right now. Follow this up with when you can take a time out to listen. By doing this when your spouse comes to you, he will start to understand that instead of just tuning you out that it’s okay to simply say that he can’t listen at the moment. Many spouses don’t feel that they can do this because they are afraid it gives off the impression that they are pushing their spouse away, when in reality it’s the best thing you can do.
- Communication Enhancer 4 ~ Say What You Mean : Don’t beat around the bush about something. Come right out and say it so that you don’t have to deal with miscommunication later. By being completely open and honest with your spouse, he will start to feel more comfortable being open and honest with you. Relationships are about give and take and this is how you can get it started in your relationship.
- Communication Enhancer 5 ~ Check In So You Don’t Over-Talk Your Spouse : Sometimes when people start talking they lose the person they are talking to and that’s how they start to feel as though they are not being listened to. Step back when you are talking and ask your spouse if he is following what you are saying. Check in to make sure that he understands and if he has any questions.
You’ll notice that the more you do this the more you’ll feel as though he is listening to you. It’s because he is active in the communication. He is following you and in your world for a moment.
Do What You Want
In these tips you’ll notice it’s a lot about doing onto your spouse what you want done onto you. That’s how better communication works. You show someone what you want and that person catches on to give back what you have provided. This doesn’t always work for everyone. Some people don’t catch on. In this type of situation, it’s best to start talking about communication. Express what you want in communication and listen to what your spouse wants. Then make every attempt to improve the communication based on that.
About the Author: This is a Guest Post from Marcelina Hardy, a relationship coach who specializes in helping couples improve their lives together by enhancing their communication.
Image Courtesy : TiffanyMichelle Photography on Flickr
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