How to tell a Guy that you are not Interested in him

Many girls find it difficult to tell the guy who they are dating or guys who show an interest in them that they do not like the guy enough to see them as a life partner. Sometimes it is because of the fear of the guy getting into an aggressive behavior or sometimes out of fear of hurting the guy.But the truth is the earlier you face the truth the better. There is no point in prolonging the suffering of an unwanted relationship.

However, there is certain etiquette to rejecting someone nicely. Unless the person is abusive it is better to tell him face to face than opting for a text message or a phone call or conveying the matter through a third party. As always 'Honesty is the best policy' and the earlier you solve your problem the better it is for you. It is better for the guy as well so that he can look elsewhere and not suffer the pain of getting dumped later on after he has become too serious about you. It would be better to go for a straight forward approach but make sure you do not say things like 'You are a loser' or 'You are a good for nothing' or such things which may hurt his ego or prompt him to go on a revenge mode. It is better to not involve a third party, even if he or she is a close friend to you, or dump a person in public. It is better to choose a place which is not too crowded or too private to convey your feelings to him.

How much ever careful you are when you tell a Guy that he is not someone whom you would consider for a romantic relationship, he would still be marginally hurt especially if he is head over heels in love with you. But it is better for you and him to wipe the slate clean and move forward at the earliest.

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Saving a Marriage or Letting it Go

Many times after a break up, women get back to their men. There can be many reasons which may prompt a woman to get back to her spouse like an apology from the spouse and promise that the mistake would not be repeated, family pressures, low self esteem, financial security, society, children etc to name a few. Majority of times the women who got back to their husbands end up with an even bigger hurt or breakup. Some of the reasons for this can be

Many times women are not able to forgive and forget the infidelity of their spouses completely that many women mention about what happened in the past during even minor disagreements thereby opening the old wounds.

Once the trust is broken it is very difficult to have trust in the partner again. After having caught a man cheating, women tend to be more cautious and suspicious about the man causing more fights and disagreements.

Many men take women for granted and tend to think that their women would not leave them no matter what. They think that since she has forgiven the mistakes even if it is repeated she would forgive again. Also the normal tendency is ‘once a cheat, always a cheat’. Men who have got into the habit of cheating find it very difficult to be loyal to their spouses.

So before you get back to your spouse again think ‘Do I truly want to save my marriage?’ ‘Is going back to my husband the best thing for me to do?’ If you are getting back for the sake of your kids ask yourself ‘Am I willing to sacrifice my happiness for the sake of my kids for life long? Is my decision the best for my kids? These questions are vital to consider. Life is too short to spend in a miserable and unhappy marriage. Only after carefully considering the pros and cons of getting back into the relationship, make a decision on if you should go back to your husband or not.

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What do women look in a relationship?

What do women want from a relationship? What do women want from a marriage? These are probably questions many guys are looking an answer to. If any man knows the answer to these questions and act by it, he would get a happy and loyal partner in return.

Women want Men to understand them: Many women would want their men to read their mind. But unfortunately most men are not good mind readers. So guys looking to win the love of girl should develop a good communication with her and be a good listener when she talks. Try to get to know her passions, interests, hobbies and other things about her. A woman looks for appreciation and support from her partner.

Women want Men to be Honest to them: Women expect honesty from their man. A woman can't stand lies and infidelity from a partner. Women are often good with their intuitions and can find if the man is cheating. Cheating can ruin any relationship and it is difficult to build trust in the partner again. On the other hand, if you are loyal and honest to your partner it would make her feel secured and relaxed.

Women want men to Love them: Women want to know and feel that they are loved. Shower your love on your women by way of Gifts, comforts and gestures. Add good sex and romance to it and you would get her loyalty and devotion instead.

Women want men to respect them:Women would not want men to call them names or beat them or treat like a door mat. Women want their men to how them through actions that you respect their opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies and minds.

Women want their men to be committed to them: Women do not want their men taking them for a ride or taken as granted. Majority of women look for Very some sort of commitment in a relationship. No woman likes being taken for a ride. If you are a man who is willing to take a step towards commitment then that would make your women very happy.

As the saying goes ‘What you give is what you get’. If you want your partner to treat you well then you should treat her well too. In short, treat your women the way you want yourself to be treated. If you want a good wife then you should be a good husband. That makes sense, right?

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Happy Father's Day 2010

Today is the 3rd Sunday of June, which means today is Fathers Day and a day to express our love and gratitude to our Fathers and Father like persons in our life like father in law, uncle or grand father by giving them gifts or sending cards. I take this opportunity to Thank my Dad for being part of my life. Happy Father's Day, Dad! You have been a great role model and I have always looked up to you and think of you when I need to make a tough decision. Thank you for teaching me how to be wise. I love you Dad!

Note : Some countries celebrating Fathers Day on the third Sunday of June are Argentina, Canada, Chile,France, Japan, Netherlands,United States, United Kingdom,  Malta and India.

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Should you go back to a Man who did not trust you?

Recently when I went for a Kitty Party, the topic of conversation of some of my friends revolved around the NDTV Imagine Show Jyoti. I do not blame housewives getting addicted to these numerous soaps on TV. With the numerous advertisements of serials and repeated telecasts these soaps are hard to miss. My friends were having a heated discussion on the center character Jyoti who preferred to choose her friend over her ex husband and father of the child as life partner. By the way, Have we not seen such a situation in the Priety Zinta starer Kya Kehna? Coming to the topic of discussion, while one argued that Jyoti did it wrong by not opting for her husband Pankaj as he is the father of her unborn child and he deserves to be forgiven for his mistake at least once. My other friend argued that a man who suspected her character on the basis of what others say does not deserve a second chance and she made a right decision choosing her friend Kabir as life partner as he trusts her and accepts her as she is. Well, I agree with my friend on that point too.

A few months back another friend of mine was in a similar situation. The difference was that she was not pregnant. Her husband believed the stories cooked by his mother and sister in law and threw her out of the house, the same women he married after courting for 2 years. When he realized his mistake later after over hearing the talks between her mother and sister in law he went to her and begged for forgiveness. And my friend, like majority of Indian women would do, got back with her husband. In my opinion if a marriage has to work, trust is an important factor. If you do not have trust in your partner and not willing to hear the explanation she has, then the relationship is not worth pursuing. I can to some extent understand and justify my friends husband for believing in his mother and sister in law more than his own wife as they have been part of his life for a longer period than her. But what about a man who believes in others more than his wife and suspects her? Does he deserve a second chance? I guess not.

In Jyoti’s Case, I do not think Pankaj deserved a second chance because being suspicious about the paternity of his own child is a serious mistake and no self respectful women would forgive such a thing. Suspicion is something which can be got rid of fast, so he may do it again. Moreover, he believed in someone who was his friend for a few weeks more than his wife whom he loved and married. Now that he knows the truth of his ex wife, Pankaj wants to divorce his second wife and get back to Jyoti for the sake of his child. I also do not think that any woman in her rightful mind would want to be a home breaker even if the guy is her Child's father. Kabir, her friend, on the other hand is always supportive of her and accepts her even when he knows that she is carrying her ex husbands child.

Unfortunately many women, in such situations like that of Jyoti, choose to go back to their ex partner or ex husband because they do not want the child to suffer. And many husbands want their wives back because they want their child and not because they genuinely love their wives. My Question is “Is it worth going back to a man who did not trust you at the first place?” What do you think?

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How to Avoid the On-Again-Off-Again Relationship Cycle

As a lesbian that has been in a monogamous relationship for the past four years, I want to bring up an issue that I’ve found to be disheartening and problematic: people that get stuck in this “on-again-off-again” relationship cycle. This happens to all types of relationships, but it seems as though this issue affects a LOT of lesbians. In addition, to being a huge bummer when “couple friends” of ours are having problems or breaking up, because we never want to see that, it also tends to leave my wife and I with far less to people to get together with. When the couple splits, usually both sides want to tell their story. We have taken a strictly neutral stance in those situations where we will listen but not take sides with either friend. I think because we don’t take a side, we are somewhat forgotten about by both sides and end up with less close friends altogether. I want to examine the cause these sorts of relationships. Why do people get stuck in these cycles of breaking up and getting back together? Why does this seem to be more prominent in the lesbian community? How can this be avoided?

I’ve read that people get stuck in these cycles for many different reasons. Sometimes everything is great except for one very important disagreement. Sometimes there is one great thing among several aspects that don’t work. The relationship could be unbalanced somehow or one person may be using the other. As with several cases that I have witnessed, one person isn’t sure what they want and keeps changing their mind. My first assumption about why lesbians tend to have this issue more frequently is that lesbian relationships contain far more emotion and drama than most. Women are typically thought of as letting their emotions play a big role in their lives. I’m not saying this is a bad thing; I myself am a woman. The problem, I think, is that the emotion is doubled in lesbian relationships. Doubled emotion means doubled drama and I can see how that can lead to an explosive situation when it comes to arguments or fights. Essentially, these women are breaking up at every argument over who-knows-what.

But why get back together? I think this, too, is the nature of women. We tend to want to be with another person. There is an innate desire to be close to someone and when we wake up or sober up the next day and realize we are alone, it doesn’t go over well. Being with that person was comforting and comfortable and so, they get back together. I have seen this happen many times and would like to offer some advice.

I know it is cliché but communication is the key in any relationship. Being open and honest about your feelings is a must. If you cannot do this with your partner then you are going to have a problem. Good communication for the most part will prevent major arguments from happening in the first place. Talk about what you want and where you see the relationship going. If you are both under the understanding that you are in it for the long run, arguments can happen without breaking up. If you have already broken up and want to get back together with an ex, take a break before doing this. A break from the relationship can give each person time to think and decide if getting back together is really the best option. On a break you are both still open for the chance to get back together so the panic of being alone isn’t enough to drive you back without considering the whole picture. Think long and hard about getting back together. I know it is lonely without them and you feel you have made a mistake but make sure to resolve the original issue before going back to them. If you broke up because they were too jealous or dishonest or whatever it may be, consider that this probably will not change and the cycle will continue. Do you want a few weeks of unhappiness to get over a break up or several wasted months or years of unhappiness being in this on-again-off-again cycle?

This is a Guest Post from Mandi Titus. She is a Blogger, Guest Blogger and Freelance Writer. She currently lives in New Smyrna Beach, FL and works in Public Relations for a large private health care organization. She maintains two blogs of her own @ Vermont and Mandi Munches and can be reached at mandititus@gmail.com You can also follow her on Twitter @ATVermont.

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How to have a Successful Marriage

A Marriage in order to succeed requires a lot of patience and efforts to make it work. When two people live under the same roof there are bound to be troubles and problems but it is not difficult to maintain a happy and harmonious relationship between the two. Here are some things to do in order to maintain a good, successful and long lasting relationship between couples.

Be Realistic: Many Couples enter into marriage with unrealistic expectations. Life is not a bed of roses as most of us imagine. Have a clear understanding of what to and what not to expect from your marriage. Talk with your would be in advance to know and communicate your expectations from the marriage so that there won't be any misunderstandings later. The more realistic you are the happier you would be in your marriage.

Show Love and Appreciation: Life can be hectic at times, but when you have the love and support of your partner it becomes more easy to face even the tough conditions. Never let your spouse feel unloved or not appreciated. Do not withhold your love, affection and physical touch from your partner. How much ever busy you are at least you can find time for a quick peck, a hug or a quick phone call to your loved one. The more you make efforts to make your partner feel important and special the more happy you would be.

Respect your Spouse: Many times couples take each other for granted which can kill a relationship. Don't keep nagging your partner to do things the way you want to. There is a saying 'give respect and get respect'. If you want your friends or children to show respect to your partner it is important that you show respect too. Be respectful to your partner and his feelings and in turn you would get the respect you deserve.

Resolve Fights and Arguments fast: One of the major reasons causing couples to drift apart is leaving fights or arguments unattended. It is quite natural that a couple may have indifferences but resolve the same immediately. Do not hesitate to say a sorry if you have made a mistake and make amends so that it would not happen again. Do not bring old issues which have been resolved when you are having a fight.

Good Communication: Good Communication is the key to a happy marriage. Never let marital boredom creep in your relationship. Talk to each other as much as you can and gain a better understanding of each other. This way you can avoid misunderstandings. It would be a good idea to devote at least one day in a week that you will devote just for the two of you. Spending Holidays together at least once in a year would be a great idea to improve your communication level better.

Be Faithful to your Spouse: There can be temptations, but if you respect the commitment made to your spouse by staying faithful and not betray their trust by cheating on them you are likely to be rewarded by his loyalty and trust too. This is one of the most essential ingredients to make a marriage work.

Make Compromises: You can't get everything you want. You need to make some compromises at some point in life for the sake of your partner in order to make your relationship work.

Plan Surprises: Plan Surprises for your Partner and it would make them feel happy and valued. Never forget an important day for you or your partner as it gives you an opportunity to celebrate together.

Transparency and Truthfulness: Maintain a transparency and truthfulness in whatever you do. Never hide or lie to your partner. It is okay if you have friends of the opposite sex but make sure that your spouse knows about them. Introduce your spouse to them or better meet them in the company of your spouse. This can increase the trust factor in your relationship.

Keeping the above points in mind and implementing them in your marriage can make your it a lasting and successful one.

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