Why Online Dating Works … Sometimes

The latest statistic is that only in 1 in 10 online daters will meet and date someone for over a month. At the same time, almost everyone knows someone these days who has met their spouse on Match, eHarmony, PlentyofFish or a number of other online dating sites. The success stories of deeply in love couples who go on to get married, have children and live out their lives happily together, inspire online dating hopefuls everywhere. Online dating really can work, but it can also turn into a big fail for many individuals and interestingly the difference lies largely in the attitudes of online daters according to experts.

Why Online Dating Works?
In a nutshell online dating works, because it creates opportunities to meet someone, when those opportunities would previously have not existed prior to the digital era. You increase your odds of finding someone special, particularly if you’re the type of person who doesn’t frequent the party or social scene. You also meet people that have similar interests; there is at minimum a little common ground to begin a relationship.

Why Online Dating does not work?
Experts in online dating and relationships say that the main reason online dating does not work is because dating sites cannot account for the chemistry factor. Experts say an immeasurable factor of chemistry or physical attraction is a huge part of successful relationships. The saying “opposites attract” stems from this, as happily married couples of many years can seemingly have very little in common, yet there is an obvious, strong and lasting chemistry between the pair. There is simply no way to tell if that spark will be present upon meeting by looking at someone’s online profile. 

What Online Daters Should Expect
Online dating sites that claim to “scientifically” match you with your soul mate through a series of well-pointed questions are claiming the impossible. There is no way these sites can measure the chemistry between two people. However, many online daters sign up for these sites, hand over their credit card information and are sorely disappointed. These daters expect to quickly find their soul mate through the “science” of online dating sites. Unfortunately, this “science” is almost entirely based on marketing and sales agenda. Disappointed users, go on dates with those they’ve been “scientifically” matched with only to find that they don’t care for the person at all! Experts say this is due to the intangible, immeasurable factor of chemistry between two people.

What are Online Daters to do?
The experts recommend that online daters go into the world of online dating with the understanding that the dates they set up online will be very similar to a blind date set up by mutual friends. Friends setting up friends often match two people together because they both like the arts or they are both in finance, etc. Much like how online dating sites match people based on similar interests. However, just as mutual friends have no idea whether or not two people will “hit it off” or if there will be a real spark between a pair, neither do online dating sites. The “science” online dating sites use cannot account for the chemistry factor – which is critical according to relationship experts.
 
About the Author : Jessica Drew is a freelance writer and editor who blogs about a variety of dating, moneymaking and finance topics such as private student loans

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How to make the Guy you want Chase you

Understanding how to make a Guy chase you is something almost every woman wishes to know. Do you know what it takes to make a guy chase you? Here are parts of some of the mails I got.

‘I am an average looking girl. I have a strange problem. I have been chased by many men even though I have not shown any interest in anyone. I have always ignored these men as my priority is my studies. It is not wrong to say that I have more men pursuing me than the college beauties’.

‘There is this Guy who kept chasing me when I showed no interest in him. But now when I started taking an interest on him he is playing hard to get.’

‘There is a Guy who used to constantly send me messages online. After a couple of chats I became interested in him. We even talked about entering into a relationship and I agreed to meet him. Now what I notice is that he has gone cold on me. I am leaving messages and mails but I don’t get any response from him for weeks together. What did I do wrong?’

If you want know how to make a guy chase you what I am going to tell you should work. Do exactly the opposite to discourage a man from pursuing you. So how to be the Price catch men want to chase?

People do not appreciate anything that comes too easily. This is not just true about material things but in relationships too. Men love the chase. Playing hard to get can actually work. Don't make it too easy for him to get to you. Don't be available every time he wants to see you. If he isn't interested in chasing you, he's probably is not worth you. Making it a bit difficult can make him appreciate you more and realize how special you are to him. If you want your Man to chase you the first thing you should do is stop acting desperate or clingy because that is a sure turn off for men. Let the man make the calls and send messages and let him make the plans. Also hold back when it comes to intimacy. Let him know that you are not the sleeping around type. If you were difficult for him he would assume that you are bound to be difficult for other men too. Men would definitely appreciate a woman with the morals. Also it is very important that you love yourself. Take care of your appearance and cultivate good qualities men would love in their woman. Be the worthy catch a man would be proud of. Be the kind of person who would make his life better and happier. Be someone with a positive energy. Be appreciative and encouraging when your man needs it. Anyways, don’t be superficial or made up. Your man has to love you for what you are – your inner qualities and beauty of heart matters as much as your external beauty or confidence. Let him know your worth. Let him know that you have high standards and you will not settle for less than what you deserve. Keep the mystery element. Men love solving puzzles. If you're the type of person who wears your heart on your sleeve it’s time that you stop doing that.

Now that I have talked about how to get a man to chase you the Question is that is the man worthy of your attention? You can understand that by observing him. Watch if he respects you and your feelings. Also look on how he treats other woman and others in general. Regarding online friendships, many men are on the lookout for some fun fantasy. Even that happened with me. One particular Guy kept on convincing me that how perfect we are for each other. I tried all the techniques to discourage him from getting into the romance mode and tried to keep him just as a friend because I genuinely liked him. I told him all bad things about myself and discussed my ex boyfriends. I even told him that I am clingy and possessive which I am not. But what worked last was questioning him, sending him messages and acting desperate by talking of future. Most Guys get freaked when you confront him with the ‘Commitment’ word. Yes, that works! But the sad part was that I lost him as a friend too…

As some final words of advice I want to say that if you want the man you wish in your life stop chasing him. Everything in life happens for a reason; maybe you had to learn something out of your experience. If things work out it is good, otherwise concentrate on achieving your dreams and goals in life because that’s what makes what you are. Remember that you are special and don’t give in to any man till he does not prove himself worthy of you. Well, what if he does? Appreciate him and prove that you are worthy of him.

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Top 5 Reasons why People Stay in Abusive Relationships

Why do people stay in Abusive relationships? I am sure many of us have seen at least some of our friends, relatives or people known to us involved in an abusive relationship but still refuse to let go the person they are with. What is it that prompts men and women to stick on to such relationships? If we look into abusive relationships carefully we can notice that the reasons why people do not get out of such relationships can be mostly any of the 5 reasons listed below.

Low Self Esteem: The major reason why many people stay in their bad relationship is low self esteem. Some people take abuse because they are familiar with it and believe that they deserve it. In order to come out of this situation one has to start believing that they deserve better and work towards it.

Financial Benefits: Financial Dependency can prompt many people to stay in abusive relationships. When a person does not believe that they can provide food, clothing and shelter for themselves or think that they cannot survive on their own they may take abuse from the person who provides them with it. Such people believe that they have no other options than staying. I have often heard people saying, ‘Where would I go (What would I do) if I leave him?’ As long as the abused live in ‘hopelessness’ there cannot be change.

Not accepting there is a Problem: Closing the eyes during the day cannot change a day to night. But that is what many people do in relationships. They refuse to believe or acknowledge that there is a problem in their relationship and go on a denial mode. As long as a person does not think that she can no longer go on go on living a lie there is nothing anyone can do about the situation.

Children: Many stay in abusive relationships because of children who are dependent on them. They think what would happen to the kids or believe that children would suffer if they opt out of the abusive relationship. What they don’t realize is that by staying in a failed or destructive relationship they are teaching children how to abuse or be abused. Such kids can grow up to be a perpetrator or victim of abuse.

Society: Some people are more bothered about their culture, family, friends, community etc than them. They prefer to suffer in the relationship as they do not want rejection from the society.

Most people in abused relationships are aware of their shortfalls and what they need to do about it to change the situation. So is there a way out of this situation? Yes, taking help can make things easier for the abused. But first and foremost they should understand that there is nothing anyone can do if they are not willing to help themselves. They need to realize that they are ultimately responsible for their own happiness and should take the initiative to break the pattern or else the pattern would continue.

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Dress to impress on a Date - Grooming Tips for Men

All too often, when people settle down together, they get comfortable and let their hair down. There’s nothing wrong with that but if your relationship starts to go down because it is in need of a breath of fresh air, the quickest way to inject some spark into it is to make an effort into your appearance the way you did when you both started dating each other. There are countless of articles on what women can do to look better so let’s take a look at what men can do. So, How to dress to Impress on a Date?

Shave : The best way to look new again and drop the scruffy look is to get a close shave. Nothing looks more neglected than an unkempt beard. If your woman likes bearded men, at least groom it, give it some shape and make it glow and look healthy. If you like to have a little stubble on show, same thing – give it a shape and don’t let the stubble spread everywhere like a disease. Otherwise a good close shave will not only make you feel and look fresh but also get rid of dead skin on the surface and help it glow. An easy first step to achieve.

Hair: What could come next after shaving than getting a hair cut? At the moment, the fashion for men is for very short hair. Ditch the 60’s look with parted hair. At the same time, you don’t want to look like everyone else as in a prison. Try to find your unique style or if you are drastically changing your haircut, then that’s good enough. At the very least, you want to trim it and give it some shape. Hair grows from the root so the ends are the oldest and most damaged. So a trim will help to get rid of the old bits. Finally, use hair gel sparingly, if at all. You don’t want to be dripping wet or send the wrong message to the other sex.

Clothes:To wrap up the goods nicely, you need beautiful clothes. Ditch the comfortable tracksuit outfit or rugby shirt and go for clothes that have shape. A shirt for example. Pure cotton shirts are great if you are of the luxury type.If you have a good figure, wear a slim-fit shirt to emphasize it, otherwise, keep to the standard cut. If you want to wear a suit jacket yet still look relaxed, team it up with a plain t-shirt underneath. With a suit jacket, even jeans will do. Finally, if you really like t-shirts or just want to look casual on a hot summer day out, polo shirts are a great alternative.

These tips to improve your appearance can help in your everyday couple’s life or if you are single, to inject some vitality and new blood into your dating habits. Good luck!

Guest Post written for MU Shirts. Find a great collection of menswear on their site.

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3 Tips to Making Holiday Gatherings Easier as a Couple

Holiday gatherings can be exhausting with all the cooking, cleaning and decorating. You shouldn't have to worry about familial relationships, too. The waters get even murkier when you have your partner's family to deal with. Before barricading yourself in a closet during the next family celebration, check out these three tips for surviving holiday gatherings as a couple.
1. Get a room: Sure, spending a long weekend squeezed into your parent’s house with your siblings and their families might seem like it would make for fun-filled walks down memory lane, but you’ll probably just end up being reminded about all the things that annoyed you about them when you were kids; like the fact that they take super-long showers that use up all the hot water, or they insist on watching nothing but football, loudly, 24 hours a day, or that they put dibs on the queen-sized bed in your old room because (they claim) they have back problems that the pullout in the den will only make worse. If you can afford it, save your sanity (not to mention your back) and get a hotel room. You won’t have to share a shower with 10 other people, you won’t have to sleep on the couch, and it will give your significant other a much-needed break from your over-bearing parents.
2. Make a game plan: Holidays can wreak havoc on any diet. It seems like every gathering is centered on food – and not the healthiest of food at that (cocktail weenies and cheesecake sampler, we’re talking to you). Celebrating the holidays as a couple is a great way to meet each other’s family, but it can also be a great way to end up with a stomach ache. Before heading out on your holiday visits, make sure you have a game plan for how you’re going to handle meals and share it with everyone involved. You might decide to have dinner with one family and dessert with another. It’s important to let your families know what your expectations are, so that way your Aunt Mildred doesn’t insist that you eat a second helping of her green bean casserole or your mom doesn’t force a piece of pie on you. Communicating early on will not only ward off hurt feelings, but it might also help your family plan the day better.
3. Be a melting pot: If you’re the lucky person who gets to host both your relatives and your significant other’s family, make sure to blend in traditions from both sides. Use your mom’s recipe for dressing and his aunt’s recipe for apple pie (better yet, make it a pot luck where members of both families bring their signature dishes). Ask someone from your side to say the blessing and someone from his side to cut the turkey. Discuss with your significant other beforehand what traditions are most important to his or her family, than find ways to incorporate yours. While you’re at it, try adding a new tradition that’s solely your own to make the holiday special for you and your beloved. Again, communication is key when navigating this tricky holiday territory, so make sure to have an open discussion with your partner and his or her family if need be.

About the Author: This is a Guest Post by Susan Price who blogs about travel related subjects such as cheap flights.
Photo Credit : Juliaf

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Compatibility Dating Site Quizzes-Do These Tests Help Your Aim or Miss Their Mark?

We’ve all seen those ever popular dating site advertisements that claim their compatibility test will match you with your perfect soul mate, but do these tests really work? Let’s put it this way, these types of cupid love calculators only help give us insight into whether it’s a good idea to fall in love with a specific person. They can’t predict actual outcomes of chemical responses to love or emotional bonds that could be established with a prospective match. While they are not miracle workers, compatibility match tests do have their advantages.

They may sound like just a gimmick, but some of them can help us learn more about ourselves and what we are looking for in a partner. By laying your wants and needs out in answering a few simple questions, you gain a better understanding of what your deal breakers are in a relationship. Just like your ever important shopping list, you can check off the things you really need to have to create the perfect recipe for love.

This means you only have to put your ideal matches into your dating site grocery cart and you don’t have to worry that you’ve overfilled it with needless items cluttering up your relationship cupboard. Compatibility tests are just one piece of the puzzle, but they do help you get one step closer to putting the big picture together by focusing and streamlining your goals for finding a partner.

If you have an open mind and take these tests seriously, you can minimize the outcome of incorrect results. Using scientific methods to find love never hurt anyone. By using these compatibility formulas you can add to your arsenal of love arrows and help them in finding their mark. It’s all about perception and judgment of yourself and what you believe is good for you in developing a healthy and fruitful relationship.

If you don’t have time to dedicate to filling out a form, then you don’t have time to establish a love match. We all know that using specific criteria information by itself will not help you find true love, but it may just open the door to many more possibilities and future connections that are tailored just for you. Think of these tests as a love Einstein GPS, calculating your guide route to better matches and a higher rate of success in finding your way through the dating site jungle.

About the Author:

Tiersa writes for datingsite.org and onlinedatingsites.net and enjoys writing about today's modern dating dilemmas and the unseen quirky side of relationships and dating sites. We provide relationship advice, tips and reviews on the 25 top dating sites.

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