When it comes to learning how to truly attract men, a lot of women don’t realize that they can be their own worst enemy. More often than not, they’re blissfully unaware that harboring certain mindsets will hurt their chances of finding the right guy.
For instance, many women are sadly bogged down by unrealistic expectations. For far too long, we’ve been misled by the notion that the ideal relationship will “just happen” to us rather than having to put any real effort into making it happen.
Watch cable TV or rent a DVD – you’ll find a lot of shows and movies that feature characters who fall in love after meeting in a club, bar or some equally trendy location. With the script running on auto-pilot, finding Mr. Right is a no-brainer.
When people in a club are in “party mode”, they’re less likely to act like their everyday selves – especially if there’s a lot of alcohol involved. In this context, it’s harder to know if a guy is a good match for you.
Stop Feeding Unrealistic Expectations
What’s dangerous that this stereotypical setting enforces the misconception that getting a guy is easy as picking up a meal at the drive-through. There’s certainly nothing wrong with going out for a few drinks with your girlfriends and having fun, but don’t expect that you’ll automatically find someone there and hook up with him. Women who know how to attract men never insist on this type of thinking.
Sure, there is the off-chance of meeting someone in those places, but don’t close yourself to the opportunities you’ll find elsewhere.
Besides, are you really ready to deal with “buyer’s remorse”? This refers to the sense of regret from getting caught up in the moment with someone before really getting to know him.
In the real world, you have a bigger chance of meeting your dream guy in a mundane setting such as the supermarket, a mutual friend’s karaoke party, or even at the gas station.
In fact, your friends can be your best allies in meeting guys. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for their help – it’ll be less awkward to be introduced to someone that’s already been pre-approved by your friends!
A Better Alternative
Think about it: social events with a group of friends means LESS pressure. Unlike an actual date, you don’t have to deal with an atmosphere of forced romance.
Instead, you’ll get to see how your “candidate” fares in a social situation. Better yet, you’ll be more inclined to relax around him (as opposed to freaking out) since you’ll be among friends.
If you do feel some chemistry going on, your friends can come up with more and more excuses for you to run into said guy in the future.
Eventually, you’ll get to the point where you’ll be comfortable enough to go out with him on an exclusive date. By allowing the romance to blossom naturally, neither of you will feel rushed or feel pressured to become a couple right away.
Romance shouldn’t be treated like a competitive sport. Otherwise, you’ll build up all these expectations in your head and all that internal chatter is just going to distract you.
Be Yourself!
Who’d want to be with a girl who’s so obsessed about the outcome? Men would rather date a girl who’s relaxed and enjoying every moment as it comes.
Any woman who knows how to attract a man understands that part of making a guy feel special is through her undivided attention. By skipping the usual bar or club scene, you won’t be distracted by having to “succeed” and be more focused on the guy you’re talking to.
And that’s certainly better than hitting the singles scene and going out there under the pressure of having to bag a guy before the night’s over!
Image Courtesy: Juliana Coutinho, Flickr Images
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